Sunday, September 25, 2011

Hospital Etiquette For The Mentally Challenged!

After a stay in our local hospital, I have thoughtfully adopted some rules that should be standard for anyone who anticipates a visit to a patient who has not been able to escape from that institution. Here are the rules for hospital etiquette:

Time limits! When you're visiting hospital patients set a time limit of for your stay. It shouldn't take very long to voice your concerns about the patient's condition. I believe seven minutes is appropriate. It may seem just a short time to you, but if the person you're seeing is really sick, that seven minutes can seem an eternity.

HOSPITAL DIET

No loud talking or laughing! Nothing wears on my nerves when I'm in the hospital than hearing a visitor guffawing about a joke they have just heard. If you have to laugh, don't make it sound to the folks in the next room as if you're throwing a party.

Don't volunteer to sneak in food to the patient. Trying to slip that Double cheeseburger with special sauce, lettuce and tomato past the nurse on guard duty is not really a good idea. It may taste good to the patient who is subjected to diet wise hospital food, but what if he chokes on it and dies. It's smarter to just not bring him anything.

Do not walk in the room sipping on a giant Slurpy and eating a barbeque sandwich. Not only is it impolite to eat while in the presence of someone who can't enjoy your food, but it can be dangerous to the patient if you slip him a bite of something he is not supposed to have.

Using the restroom is a no-no, but something many visitors do with no regard for the wants and wishes of the bedridden. When I'm confined to the hospital, I don't want some stranger using my toilet. I'm funny that way, but we all have our idiosyncrasies.

If the doctor comes in, leave the room so he or she can talk with the patient without an audience. It may be personal and what the doctor says is really not your business. If the patient wants you to know the details, he will tell you.

Never visit anyone in the hospital if you're sick. You may have a cold or the flu and rationalize that the patient will never know. Hospitals are dangerous places and risking the life of a bed-ridden friend or relative is not worth seeing them for a few minutes. Stay at home. There will be time enough for visiting when both of you are well.

Do not talk about your own past illnesses. The patient is the one who is on center stage and he should be able to whine and moan about his sickness to his heart's content. He doesn't need to compete for attention with someone who thinks they have had a worse illness than theirs.

If a prayer is needed at the end of your stay, keep it short. Probably the patient will be tired from your visit and the last thing he needs is a lengthy camp meeting revival. A few Bible verses and a short prayer is best way to boost his spirits and the patient will, know doubt, thank you for coming.

These are few things I have observed during my hospital stay and I believe that most folks just want to be left alone when they're sick.

Hospital Etiquette For The Mentally Challenged!

HOSPITAL DIET

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